Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills: Interpersonal Effectiveness

Description

In this course, you will learn :

1. Objectives of Dialectical Behavior Therapy ( dbt )

• Define interpersonal effectiveness
• Examine the goals of interpersonal effectiveness
• Identify barriers to interpersonal effectiveness

2. Definition and Goals of the dbt skill interpersonal effectiveness

• Interpersonal effectiveness is the ability to ask for what you want and need, and say no to unwanted requests
• By getting your needs met and being able to set boundaries you:
• Will feel more respected
• Reduce anger and resentment
• Reduce stress
• Free up energy to help you meet your goals

3. Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness

• Get others to do things you want them to do
• Get others to take you seriously
• Effectively say no to unwanted requests
• Strengthen current relationships
• Find and build new relationships
• End hopeless relationships

4. Barriers

• Lack of effective communication skills
• Lack of clarity about what you want from others
• Difficulty balancing your needs and the other person’s needs
• Emotions get in the way
• You sacrifice long term goals for short term relief/urges
• Other people get in the way
• Other people are more powerful than you
• Need for external validation
• Beliefs that you don’t deserve what you want

5. Summary

• Interpersonal effectiveness is more than just communication skills
• It requires that you know what your wants and needs are
• Helps you effectively ask for those wants and needs
• Troubleshoot why you might not be getting your needs met
• Take action to improve the situation
• Develop healthy, sustainable (albeit not perfect) relationships.
• Identify ways to address the barriers to interpersonal effectiveness

6. Communication Skills DEAR MAN

• DEAR
• Describe in specific, objective terms
• Clean house
• Being supportive
• Dressed appropriately
• Irritable
• What terms do you often have disagreements about?
• Express feelings and opinions using “I” statements
• Describe a situation and notice and correct yourself each time you don’t use an “I” statement to express feelings and opinions.

7. Communication Skills DEAR MAN

• DEAR
• Assert
• Ask for what you want
• Don’t expect mind reading
• Reinforce by explaining the benefits to the other person ahead of time. (win/win)
• If I get/you do this, the benefit to you will be…
• Think about 3 occasions when you wanted someone to do something for you. How could you have made it a win/win?

8. Communication Skills DEAR MAN

• MAN
• Mindfulness
• Stay focused on your goal
• Ignore diversion techniques-blaming, magnification, justification or switching topics
• Practice identifying and responding these techniques in movies/tv shows
• Blaming: 2 and 3
• Magnification: Highlight exceptions
• Justification: Highlight the consequences
• Switching Topics: Acknowledge you heard it and table it for later

9. Communication Skills DEAR MAN

• MAN
• Appear confident in verbal and nonverbal behavior
• What is the difference between confidence and aggressiveness?
• Mentally rehearse what confidence looks like
• Find one or two people who have this quality and study them.
• Imagine them handling the situation

10. Communication Skills DEAR MAN

• Negotiate
• Offer and ask for other solutions
• Write it down if needed
• Give time for reflection
• Compromise
• How can both of you get the majority of your needs met?
• Say no, but offer alternatives
• Think about three situations when you said no (or wanted to) in the past. What alternatives could you have proposed?

11. Getting Clarity

• How important is…
• Getting what you want
• What, exactly, do you want, and how can the other person provide this.
• Feel better
• Fix it
• Know you will never leave
• Keeping the relationship
• Maintaining your self-respect

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